Field guide

When the sign gets ignored

Every bitter deterrent ever bottled has the same asterisk, and Fooey! prints its version right on the label: guaranteed to work on most pets. In independent testing that meant 8 of 10 dogs dropped what they were chewing. If you have drawn one of the other two, run this checklist before the U-turn.

First, check your coverage. A light single pass wears off in hours, and a pet that finds one unsprayed corner of the couch learns that persistence pays. Recoat daily for the first two weeks, and after every cleaning.

Second, check the alternative. A deterrent with no detour is a dead end: the chewing urge — teething, boredom, anxiety — still needs an exit. If there is no legal chew toy within reach of the crime scene, the sprayed object stays the best game in the room, bitter or not.

Third, check the species logic. Cats often care more about texture than taste, and a determined cord-chewer may need the gel's thicker coat plus a cable cover. Birds explore with their beaks without much licking, so pair the spray with perch rearrangement.

Fourth, check the calendar. A pet that chews only when alone is telling you about the alone part, not the flavor. Bitterness cannot treat separation anxiety — enrichment, exercise and sometimes a vet or behaviorist can.

And if the checklist comes up empty and your pet genuinely enjoys grapefruit-flavored regret? That is what Amazon's return window is for — see The U-turn. No hard feelings; even stop signs get run occasionally.